I have a network and want to use one gateway for incoming connections and another gateway for outgoing connections. Unfortunately the machines only respond to the incoming gateway if that gateway is set as its default route. Shouldn't I be able to use both gateways? These gateways are on two completely different networks (cable and DSL).
In the logs of the destination machine I see the connection attempt via the incoming gateway but the return packet does not go back to the incoming gateway, so I guess it is going through the other gateway (the one that's the default route).
How do I resolve this?
I control my subnet, so how do I tell each computer to use the incoming gateway for the return trip for connections initiated from the internet? Your answers seem to indicate that you don't understand my question.

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As you do not control the networks involved, you are going to have a hard time doing this. Better to do some simple loadsharing by routing some of the traffic to the alternate router.